HOW TO BREAK THE BAD HABITS - Try it and You'll See The Results

When we're trying to change our behaviors , uh , there's some behaviors that we want to be experts at and then there's some behaviors that we're perfectly fine being amateurs at .

Right .

And , and on the bottom two as well , the habituate or the addict , there's behaviors that we want to stop doing that are low will power and high will power .

So it's not necessarily the person , it's the behavior they're trying to change .

But I think , you know , you'll find it very difficult to become an expert at something if , if you use the same criteria that it takes to become an amateur at something .

If your test to become an expert is this , Mia , you actually won't have the grit and perseverance needed to power through the times that are shitty , that are hard .

So most people's problems , I think when it comes to the fitness space in particular is that we train like we're experts , even though what we want is an amateur behavior .

Right ?

We go to the gym and we have the mentality that we need a trainer and fitness programs and , you know , we need to no gain , no pain , no gain .

And it's got hurt or it doesn't work .

And that's , that's the expert mentality .

I've written on this article you , you alluded to called Why fitness apps make you fat .

Because what we find is that when you , when you take that mindset in the expert quadrant of , you know , I've got to figure out the expert quadrant is all about figuring out your mistakes and it's got to be in , uh , in some way painful in a way or you're , you're not gonna get better .

What that means is that people are doing exercise that they hate , which means it's not going to be sustainable .

Not only that we know that , that , that uh when you suffer at something , there's this phenomenon called moral licensing that when we feel like we've sacrificed in one area of our lives , it's like squeezing on a balloon , right ?

When we feel like we're being good in one area of our lives , we cheat in other areas of our life , right ?

I squeeze on this side of the balloon in the other area and we've seen this phenomenon occur time and time again .

We find that when people buy green products , they're actually less kind , they , they're less likely to help someone who's just fallen down in front of them after they've sacrificed by buying an ecologically sound product .

Some of the highest insurance rates on the road today are from a car that you wouldn't expect it .

It's not Ferraris and Lamborghinis .

Some of the highest insurance rates are for Blue Priuses .

Right .

Right .

Because there's this effect of more licensing .

If we're good in one area , we're allowed to be bad in other areas .

So , how does this play out in the fitness world ?

Well , I just , you know , sweated it out on the treadmill for 30 minutes and I've , I , you know , it was so difficult and I , you know , I , I did it iiii I persevered and it was so hard for me .

I didn't enjoy a second of it .

I deserve a Jamba juice with 60 g of sugar and , you know , 600 calories , even though I only burn what , like 300 calories on the treadmill , I deserve a reward .

And unfortunately , I think bringing you back to the technology industry , a lot of fitness apps today only look at that side of the equation .

They're only about getting your step counts because they're using the expert mode as opposed to the amateur mode .

So we talked about the top of that behavior change matrix , right ?

These do behaviors that are either low willow or high willow at the bottom of that behavior change matrix are the don't behaviors , the things we want to stop doing .

And so there again , we have low will power and high willpower .

So what I've utilized it in my life is that using a technique I call progressive extremism , progressive extremism .

And the idea is that , um you know , the problem with diets .

And the reason that diets make us fat is that they train our brains to anticipate scarcity .

And of course , what you're doing when you train the brain to do something is that you're , you're heightening the awareness you're making us , uh , you know , these diets train us to expect .

Ok , I'm suffering today .

But as soon as this diet ends and I'm , you know , I can fit into my wedding dress or , uh , the graduation ceremony comes , or here's my goal by the end of the year , I'm gonna , you know , be at this weight as soon as I free myself from that diet .

Ah , and that's , that's the problem .

So , instead of saying , you know , a diet that has this time based , uh , endpoint , what I advocate for is progressive extremism .

So , pick something that , you know , you want to stop eating .

In this case , if , if food is what we're , is the behavior we're trying to change .

And the criteria is pick something that you can give up without too much trouble , but you can give it up for the rest of your life .

Why would I want to do something temporarily and then go back to eating the way I used to eat .

That doesn't make any sense .

Of course , I'm gonna gain the weight .

I wanna make a permanent change .

And so I started out with my , the first thing that I excised from my life was candy corn .

And so I just cut them out and say , I'm never eating candy corn ever again .

And then what happened ?

And I kept track , I kept track of everything I gave up .

And then maybe like a week or two later I'd assess and say , hey , that wasn't so hard .

What else could I give up ?

And then I would give up another thing and another thing , then I think the thing I gave up was no sugary drinks in the house .

OK ?

I could have sugary drinks outside the house .

No sugary drinks in the house ever again .

For the rest of my life .

It's a rule , progressive extremism .

So I went up this chart kind of more and more and more things that I was giving up until I gave up .

You know , uh just last June , I gave up refined sugars completely .

It's just not something I do .

Now when people have no trouble saying , oh , candy corn easy , that's great .

But then you say , OK , I'm going to give up all refined sugars and people say , oh , that's not so cool anymore .

But of course , that's , that's a natural progression .

And what you're doing here is you're using this , this , this phenomenon of , of , of self image that when you talked about self image earlier and how we can actually utilize how we see ourselves to boost our willpower .

There's been a lot of studies that show that when people identify a behavior that they they do or don't do as part of who they are , it becomes much easier to resist .

For example , uh , if you're a vegetarian , if you're a devout Muslim , if you're an Orthodox Jew , you're not constantly asking yourself , should I eat the meat or should I have some beer or should I have some pork ?

Right .

Like , that's not a debate you're having on a constant basis , you just don't do that because that's who you are .

Right .

If I'm a devout Muslim , I just don't drink .

That's just what I do .

If I'm a vegetarian , I just don't eat meat .

It's no longer a debate of , should I can I ?

Is it ok ?

I just don't .

Right .

Whereas many diners they think to themselves , well , should I , should I not , should I have the cake ?

And what they're doing is expending this willpower resource that over time , you know , there's a lot of evidence that shows becomes depleted and it becomes very hard .

It's this constant struggle .

But by doing this progressive extremism and saying , look , that's just one thing I just don't eat and taking it slowly .

I mean , this has to take years to , to , to , to , uh , to , to scale up , you're constant , you know , you're constantly excising things from your life , from your day .

It , but for the rest of your life and it's using that same principle of this is just who I am .

I just don't eat those things .

So that , that's the shift is changing your mindset of this is something I just don't do versus something I can't do , which you can't mean maybe it's flexible versus something I just do not do .