Addison Rae's Movie Is A Disaster

Hey Greg , I just released a bunch of new Merch .

If you wanna check it out , head on over to Danny Gonzalez dot store and if not enjoy the video , hey Greg , guess what the new Addison Ray movies out ?

But is so , so it's not very good in case you didn't hear tiktok star and a social media sensation , Addison Ray recently starred in a Netflix movie called He's all that .

It's a remake of a movie from the nineties and it is just a mess .

It is simply a hot mess .

There's no other way to describe it .

It's got bad acting .

It's got rampant product placement .

It's got Macklemore and I've gotten a lot of messages asking me to review this movie , so I'll be doing that now .

So this movie follows Addison Rae's character , Paget Tate , pageant , not pageant Pagett .

I did not know that was a name .

She's a Tik Tok slash beauty guru .

She's a supports herself and her mother by doing sponsorships , endorsing products mostly from this company .

Bunny Venom .

That's like her main sponsor .

In fact , the very first thing she does in the movie is endorse one of bunny Venom's products without disclosing that they sponsored her bunny Venom Revival .

Eye Patches are always my favorite .

I puff so a little shady .

But you know what ?

Get the bag nonetheless , get , get that bag and go off queen .

At first I was going to say , like right away that makes this movie , like , not believable because it's like the writers of the movie , I guess , don't even know how sponsorships work .

But uh on tiktok , I feel like it actually is very believable that someone would do that because people do that literally all the time .

Padgett has a lot going for her .

She's popular both at school and on social media .

She's got hundreds of thousands of followers on tiktok .

She's got the coolest clothes , the coolest friends and oh yeah , the hottest boyfriend , her boyfriend is Jordan .

He happens to also be famous because he is a pop star .

We're led to believe that Jordan goes to the same high school as all of the other kids in this movie despite the fact that he's definitely 30 years old .

So I don't know if he like got held back or something , but I definitely thought the first time I saw him that he's got to be like a much older guy .

At least I did until I heard his music .

You're trying to tell me a 30 year old wrote this , please .

You'd have to be like eight at the oldest dude .

Unfortunately , though all good things must come to an end .

Patrick goes to surprise Jordan on his birthday at his music video set and ends up walking in on Jordan cheating on her with one of the dancers for the music video .

And for some reason , her friend who was live streaming the whole thing like just continued live streaming through the entire thing .

I've been there .

We're over , ok .

You know what you deserve me , you don't deserve my love and you don't deserve my co bitch .

You bitch , you're still alive .

Oh no dude , people are going to find out that she's like a human person with emotions and snot and spoiler alert .

They do find out and they hate it .

How could this happen ?

So like a few people are being kind of me , a few bubble girl who's bubble girl .

This kind of starts the whole conflict of the movie .

I don't understand how it works because this for some reason causes Paget to lose a ton of followers and also causes Jordan to gain a ton of followers .

Unbelievable .

I'm the victim .

How is Jordan at a complete pariah ?

Now , I checked his profile earlier and his numbers are actually going up .

I'm sorry .

What , how does that work ?

How does like watching someone react appropriately to finding out that they're getting cheated on ?

Make them lose a ton of followers and what must Jordan have been doing that made him gain followers ?

I mean , I guess we don't see exactly what they're doing on this live stream because it doesn't show them until they're already , like , fully clothed again .

But like , was he just really putting it down or what people are just like ?

Oh my God .

Oh whoa Jordan is doing pageant ?

So dirty dude .

That scumbag , that absolute rap scallion .

I got unfollow this motherfucker right now .

Hold on .

Holy shit .

Look at those moves .

Such grace , such beauty .

I was gonna unfollow him but now I can't look away .

I think I'll keep following him actually and I think I'm going to be sending this to all of my friends as well so that they can watch this .

So yeah , this basically ends up ruining Paget's life .

She loses all those followers .

Everybody starts making fun of her because she had a snot bubble in the live stream .

Everyone at school starts calling her bubble girl and she ends up losing her bunny venom sponsorship because of this .

It's Jessica Miles to from bunny venom .

Jessica .

Hi , what's up ?

You're going viral .

Yeah .

The bunny venom liaison in this movie is Courtney Kardashian for some reason .

And if you watched this movie and thought that Addison Ray's acting was bad , then wait until you see Courtney Kardashians , you saw the video and well , it is unfortunate , unfortunate .

My ex-husband's hiking accident was unfortunate and he was mauled by bears .

She's exercising while watching a video of someone she is upset with on loop .

That is a serial killer activity .

She is training for vengeance and you cannot convince me otherwise .

I know , I know I've lost a lot of followers but I can get them back .

I just need a chance to redeem myself .

That's all sweetie .

I am your biggest supporter .

No one has more faith in you than I do .

But until you turn things around , don't talk to me .

Love you .

Damn .

That is so mean .

Yes , sorry .

But bunny Venom's actually a company for hot girls that don't get cheated on .

Ok ?

And that don't have s not .

Damn , that all sucks .

You know what ?

Make it better though .

Product placement .

I went to all the trouble of putting cereal in a bowl with milk .

Lucky charms .

Mom .

I know it's not really what you eat anymore , but I used to cheer you up when you were eight .

You , that eight year olds lucky charms will make you feel better .

I'm just not hungry .

Ok .

Suit yourself .

Wow .

And the marshmallows .

I forgot about the marshmallows .

Oh my God .

I guess it'll make your mom feel better too .

So , this is the main conflict of the movie and the whole plot from here is Padgett's plan to get back at Jordan and get her sponsorships back .

Her plan that her and her friends come up with is Padgett's going to find the biggest loser in school .

Turn him into a cooler guy than Jordan and then get him to win prom king instead of Jordan .

You might think it's harsh of me to call whoever they're going to pick a loser .

But that's actually not my words .

It's theirs .

So this will hopefully stick it to Jordan while also showing bunny venom .

That Pagett is still the makeover queen .

She can get done .

So , absolutely dirty and still come out on top with the best makeup and fashion advice .

And so they go off to find the perfect loser .

Could it be this guy ?

Oh , no , dude , he's a criminal .

He could be dangerous .

But how about this guy ?

Oh , no , he's on fire .

He could be dangerous .

That's Cameron something .

Wait , wait , wait .

What about this guy ?

He is a total disaster .

Weird , arrogant antisocial .

Great .

Oh .

Ew .

That laugh .

That gurgly laugh .

How awful .

That's an awful laugh .

I'm so glad I don't know anyone in real life that laughs like that .

So then I said , hey , buddy , if you're gonna screw me at least buy me dinner first .

Oh .

Oh God .

What is this ?

Why are you laughing like this ?

Oh , why do all of you have the same laugh ?

So , the guy that page and her friends decide to make over his name is Cam .

And he's like the main love interest in this movie , obviously .

Like , I guess the best way I could describe him is if you've ever seen Breakfast Club , how there's like that , like outcast kind of guy who rejects all , like popular culture and stuff .

And it's just kind of generally like a prickly guy who doesn't get along with anybody .

That's how I would describe .

Cam , he's basically like the modern version of that guy .

And as you can imagine , they start to fall in love .

At least .

Cam starts to fall in love with Pagett .

I think for most of the beginning of this movie , Pagett is just like manipulating him .

Basically , Pagett pretends to be interested in all the things .

Cam is cam is big into photography .

He spends a lot of his time taking care of horses at a local stable .

You've heard of Horse girls ?

Well , this is horse boy , this is horse boy .

They do that thing that all budding romances do in movies where they have , they fall over together and then they throw shit at each other , they throw horse shit , what ?

It's mostly grass , right ?

This movie's got a couple like weird shots that are just like a little bit too head on .

Usually in movies , people are kind of talking like , you know , to the side of the camera , but there's a couple of shots where it almost looks like they're looking right into the camera and also like really close to the camera .

It's like if the whole movie was kind of shot like this , like that'd be pretty off putting , right ?

Even though CAMS against most popular culture and selling out that still doesn't stop him from executing absolutely flawless product placement just look at the grip he's got on that bag of Doritos dude .

This guy knows what he's doing along with pretending to be interested in things that Cam is interested in .

Pagett also tries to get cam out of his comfort zone .

She invites him to this karaoke party , which as we all know is a great place for two young people to find .

Oh , you were gonna say romance .

No , it's product placement .

Eating free Pizza Hut , free Pizza Hut .

Sign me up .

I just wish there was K F C here too .

Can I get some K F C to go ?

Oh , hell , yeah .

I love that .

His new girlfriend is just shaking her butt during karaoke .

That's like the exact opposite of the point of karaoke .

What's your go to karaoke song ?

Oh , mine's out by outcasts .

What about you ?

Oh , that's a good one .

Yeah .

Mine is sandstorm by de Oh , interesting .

Wait , that doesn't have any work .

I guess .

I never come downtown because it's always so crowded with street photography .

Crowds are the whole point .

Makes it easier to let down .

But after a while you kind of develop a sense of when it's ok to shoot kids came up .

Would you want to run ?

Ah , run .

He's coming after us , run .

Look at him .

He's crazy .

He's crazy .

That man's gonna kill us school .

You're this really reserved person .

But at the stables are here with your camera .

Oh , maybe it's because no , one in those places ever keyed the word loser into my truck door or put a fetal pig in my backpack .

Holy shit .

A fetal pig .

Is that a common prank ?

Do people do that ?

It sounds like a demonic ritual .

I would be a little bit more concerned if I were him .

Yeah .

The kids in high school used to always pick on me , man shooting spitballs at me , giving me swirlies .

I mean , sacrificing a goat in front of my locker and smearing the blood in the shape of a pentagram on my locker .

Yeah .

Do you ever like wake up in the middle of the night and there's like a demonic entity sort of like plastered on the ceiling above your bed , eyes completely blackened and you're unable to move paralyzed .

Does that ever happened to anybody else ?

No , it might have to do with the goat thing in this scene .

Peja asks cam , why they don't live with his mom ?

And it turns out it's because she died in a plane crash .

This scene could probably be very emotional .

But for some reason these two actors seem to think that the way you act sad is just by talking really quietly and slowly with like zero expression on your face who was dating this guy named Marcus who flew a turbo prop .

Yeah .

No , sorry .

It's just thinking about my mother's death makes me really sleepy .

You run things continue to go great for pageant and Cam pageant invites Cam to a great Gatsby themed party and there's this big makeover montage scene and Cam gets hot .

We can skip past this whole montage thing .

I feel like we've seen this in every movie before , so we don't need to talk about it instead .

How will we take a little bit of a break to talk about the absurd amount of product placement in this movie ?

Take it away .

Product placement , Dan .

Thank you .

And hello , I am product placement , Dan .

And I'm here to talk to you today about all of the product placement that was in this movie .

Now , before I actually saw this movie for the first time I saw a lot of Tik Toks about how much product placement was in this movie .

And even still , I was blown away by just how many products are in this movie .

Now , you can watch through the movie and try to like point out every single product placement that happens , but you can't really get an accurate idea of how many products have been placed in this movie until you go to the credits where it lists them all .

Here's the credit , go ahead and just full screen that .

Ok .

Ok .

So look , it says special thanks to up here and then all of these brands .

So it appears that these are all of the brands that paid in some way to have their products in the movie and some of them are pretty obvious and we've definitely seen them in the movie , like , like a FRITO .

That's like all the chips .

The people in this movie never stop eating chips .

That's all they want to do is eat chips to clean all the sun chips .

And then you've got , of course , Pizza Hut K F C Old Navy .

That one was a really obvious one .

And then there's like less obvious ones , like ad t the security company , like home security .

I'm not exactly sure what their marketing strategy was here with that .

I don't know how many of the eight year olds that are in this movie's target demographic are looking for a new home security solution .

I also have no recollection of seeing any home security system in this movie .

It must have been like way in the background or something .

Sharman .

I'm sorry , Sharman , the toilet paper company with the pooping the bear , the pooping bears .

When the fuck did they use Sharman in this movie ?

So I was watching the credits and I was like , oh my God , this is like a long list of sponsors .

A lot of these I didn't even realize were in the background .

I can't like how many times was I subliminally advertised to ?

And I didn't even realize it .

But then as I was watching the credits , it kept scrolling and it came to an and then another section came up that said special thanks to and I was like , wait , hold on .

I thought all this was the special .

Thanks .

No , it turns out this is extra special .

Thanks .

And then there's a whole other section with more brands that just get special .

Thanks .

And this section is even longer than the first one .

Look at how many sponsors are in here .

Look at all this , I don't , I guess I don't really know how movies get made , but like , did they really need all , all of these ?

Now , here's the thing .

I'm not exactly sure what kind of like business relationship the movie had with all of these companies .

Like maybe extra special thanks means like these companies paid to have their products in the movie .

And that's why like Pizza Hut gets mentioned by name eating free Pizza Hut and Old Navy gets like a three second long , just like pause on the laptop screen and then special thanks .

Maybe just means like these , these companies just provided things to be in the movie with no payment like boot , maybe they just sent a bunch of boots but no actual payment .

I don't remember anyone setting foot in Alexis in this movie at all .

Why did all of these companies need to be involved ?

What ?

I've never seen a movie like this and the movie is not like it didn't seem like a crazy high budget movie does .

It , it's not like an Avengers movie where they're spending like $100 million to make it or whatever .

My only theory is that like all of the money they made from any of these brands went like directly towards paying Addison Ray and Courtney Kardashian to be in the movie because I get , I bet they have pretty high rates , especially Courtney Kardashian , but I kind of hate to say it .

I don't think that they really got a bang for their buck .

I mean , Addison Ray's shirt , she like sold the movie .

Basically , everybody who watched this movie probably did because Addison Ray is in it .

But Courtney Kardashian , did you even know that she was gonna be in this movie ?

Because I didn't .

Ok .

So there's 43 companies on this list and the movie was 80 minutes long .

Ok .

40 companies on this list and the movie is 80 minutes long .

So that's an average of one sponsor for every two minutes of content .

That's bad .

Anyway , that's , that's it .

That's it for product placement , Dan .

I'm gonna pass it back over to regular Dan now .

Hey , Dan , how's that Makeover Montage going ?

Uh Yeah , apparently Cam is like shredded , like absolutely jacked and cut like a diamond .

How is this part of his character ?

Huh ?

This doesn't make any sense to my understanding of the one dimensional characters in the , this kind of like shy , a counterculture kid whose only hobbies are like photography and taking care of horses is like the most cut dude I've ever seen .

When is he working out ?

How has it never come up .

How is that not discussed as one of his hobbies .

He must spend like an hour a day in the gym .

He must always be eating just right .

When does he work out ?

Is it with the horses ?

Does he just like bench press horses ?

We never see him eating to get a body like this , which would probably just be like chicken and rice and broccoli .

In fact , I think the only thing we've seen him eat is Pizza Hut and Doritos .

Kudos to Pizza Hut and Doritos .

They're getting some really good advertisement in this movie .

You want a body like that ?

You eat Pizza Hut and Doritos .

It's actually kind of called like the V shaped body and the way you get it is by eating things shaped like that .

So like slices of pizza and Doritos .

You are what you eat , man .

Anyway , Patrick cuts his hair and holy shit .

He's hot .

Now that I feel so much I get and don't just say my word for it .

Ask his sister .

Oh , well , if I didn't know any better and you weren't my brother , I'd say you looked pretty hot .

What ?

But it must be so hard to make yourself look terrible when you're naturally .

So , you know .

Oh , shit .

They're gonna kiss .

Oh , goddamn the first kiss .

Let's see it , baby .

Let's get it .

First kiss of the movie .

Oh , a noise .

That means they can't kiss .

Now , that's the rules of movies .

If anything , even slightly distracting happens , then the characters can't kiss .

Fuck .

So Cam and Jordan actually end up getting into a fight at this party because Jordan made a move on Cam's sister and apparently not only is Cam shredded , but he is also like a master of martial arts .

This dude is actually beast mode .

This dude is a proper fighter .

How was that ?

I'm pretty sure that was me kicking your ass .

Come on , hun , you want puzzle ?

I love when people fight like professional fighters in movies .

When have you ever seen a high school fight that looked like this ?

I saw a few fights in high school and you know what they looked like , it looked like two people rolling around on the floor .

Just sort of like pulling each other's hair and hugging aggressively .

It was mostly aggressive , hugging .

It wasn't this like jab for jab dodging thing that they got going on ?

Where did cam learn to fight like this ?

Does he fight the horses too ?

Is he sparring with them ?

You know , I don't care about money .

We're not , but keeping your talent locked away .

What are you hiding from ?

You know , I could ask you the same question .

What are you talking about ?

Well , I'm talking about this .

What ?

Her ears , this , oh her makeup , he's talking about her makeup .

He thinks that she shouldn't wear makeup .

Wow , that's really unique of you to think that dude and actually I'm pretty sure girls love it when you tell them that you don't like their makeup .

That's actually kind of a girl's dream .

Why did I think he was going to pull back her hair and it was just going to be another product placement ?

No , babe , I'm talking about your delicious Captain crunch cereal .

You shouldn't be afraid to crunch .

Ize me .

Captain .

As to be expected , cam does find out that Paget was just doing this as part of a bet and he gets pissed off and hates her now and as to be expected , he does forgive her and he shows up on a horse to prom and that's pretty much the whole movie .

Oh , also there's a random dance battle to a 2016 Macklemore song at prom .

Do that bang .

Now this is a movie that knows what kids want , dude and what kids want is Macklemore .

Now , look , in my opinion , this movie is not very good .

There is a lot of things that it does poorly .

In fact , I think most things it does poorly .

But also this movie is now made for me .

This movie is made for kids specifically kids that like Addison Ray .

And I think that if you were a kid that liked Addison Ray , I think you would like this movie because it has Addison Ray .

I also think that it will make you spontaneously want to eat lucky charms and own a and you know whether or not I like it .

It really doesn't have any bearing on how successful this movie is or the adoption of this movie because guess what , this movie was like the most popular movie on Netflix the week it came out and it did so well that Netflix just signed a deal with Edison Ray for her to do several more films with Netflix , which , you know what I'm pleased to see .

I'm happy for her .

You know , this is her first movie she's ever done .

She doesn't have any acting experience before .

All she can do is get better .

Right .

I don't think that she'll stay this bad at acting forever , especially if this is something she wants to do .

So , you know , congrats Addison .

I hope that things go well for you in the future .

You know , if you have any control over the movies , I would advocate for maybe less lucky charms in the movie maybe .

But with that being said , I want to try something out .

I'm not exactly sure if this will like catch on and this will stick , but I thought it would be fun to try to do like a rating system , almost like a fano esque rating .

But I was trying to think of how to do it and I feel like a rating system out of 10 for , for movies , like this doesn't really work because when I'm looking for movies to talk about , I'm looking for specifically movies that are so bad .

That they're funny .

OK .

And that's really like the prime type of movie I'm looking for , I'm looking for the worst movie that is so bad that it is the most funny .

So I feel like I almost need to rate it on like two axis .

OK .

So here's what I'm thinking .

You got like an X axis and a Y axis this way is how good a movie is , it's either good or bad .

And then on this axis you have how funny it is that it's bad .

Now this isn't like , funny as in like the comedy prowess of the movie .

Like , I wouldn't , I think the movie Airplane is a very good and funny movie .

I wouldn't put that up here .

I'd actually put that down here because when I'm saying funny , I mean , like funny how bad it is .

Airplane is so good and funny that it's not even funny .

Ok , so that would go down here , something like rat telling or Plan B would go over here .

It's so bad that it is so funny .

Ok , so maybe here is five points and then here is five points .

Ok .

So I'm gonna say that he's all that is pretty bad and kind of funny how bad it is .

So I'm gonna put that like here , I suppose that would be like a four on the bad scale and uh 2.5 on the funny scale .

So let's say this is like a seven on the scale .

I don't have a name for the scale yet .

It's got to be something good and clever .

I don't have a name for the scale yet .

I don't have a name for it yet .

This is just a beta test to see if I like doing this and if I do and I'll rate more of the movies that I review , but for now it's gonna be about a seven .

Oh yeah .

Let me know what you guys think .

Do you agree with my assessment ?

Why or why not ?

Let me know in the comments down below or just , or you can just buzz off and I don't care anyway , now it's time to do an ad read .

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