I'M Z-O-M-B-I-E-S

What's up Greg today ?

We are going to be watching the Disney Channel original movie , Zombies , which is by far the strangest allegory for racism in America I have ever seen .

It's about humans living side by side with a community of zombies .

The fictional terrifying flesh eating monsters .

Guess which one is the minorities in this metaphor .

Most Disney Channel movies start off in pretty much the exact same way .

Some variation of a not so popular kid getting ready for their first day of school , there's bland pop music playing in the background or maybe they're getting ready for their last day of school .

There's land pop music playing in the background , but this movie was actually a really nice change of pace from that .

The whole intro to this movie is actually a fun little cartoon about how 50 years ago in the town of Seabrook , a power plant exploded , turning half the town's population into zombies that started killing and eating people land pop music playing in the background .

Uh No , just kidding .

It's horror music .

Children are dying .

Luckily for our main character Z A zombie in the present day , things have changed a lot and zombies are not as dangerous as they once were .

Even though they're still walled off from the rest of the town , they have to live in the slums and wear government issued clothes .

They do no longer have the urge to murder people .

And that's thanks to a device called the Band .

This puppy , there was a dose of soothing electromagnetic pulses that keep us from eating brains .

So the Z band makes this movie a really weird zombie move half the characters are zombies .

But because of the Z band , they don't have the urge to kill people .

Doesn't that just make them people with green hair .

And it's probably right about now .

You're starting to realize how this movie is a metaphor for racism .

It's just weird to make a movie about zombies where the zombies aren't even zombies .

They're just like regular guys , regular guys with pale skin and green hair .

We've come a long way since the outbreak .

Thanks to the , I have a lot of questions about this situation .

Firstly , when was the Z band invented ?

Like how long ago was it during Zed's lifetime ?

Is Z the first Disney channel original movie character to have eaten another human being ?

Or was that Kevin Jonas in camp rock dude ?

It was weird .

I wouldn't be surprised .

Z is super excited because today is the first day that the zombies are going to be allowed to go to the human school .

Today's the first day we can attend human high school and I get to try out for the football team kind of fucked up .

They call it the human school because the zombies , as we just learned are also humans .

Also .

The fact that they are just now being allowed to attend the human school does lend credibility to my theory that the Z band was just recently invented and Z has tasted human flesh .

He's especially excited to try out for the football team .

So he's giving us a narration .

He's really excited .

He's getting ready for school and I get to try out for the football team playing pop music , playing in the background .

Ok .

And then we meet our other main character , Addison .

Hi .

I'm a hi .

So Addison lives on the other side of town , the human side of town where everybody is normal , so normal .

In fact that everybody on this side of town hates anyone who's even a little bit different , which means if you're a zombie , obviously they're not gonna like you .

But even little differences , if you walk a little weird , they're gonna hate you .

If your hair is a weird color , they're gonna , you .

But she's your classic deco popular girl .

She's blonde .

She's a cheerleader .

She's excited for her first day of high school because she's gonna be trying out for the cheerleading team .

But she has one dark secret .

Actually , it's one light secret .

It's that her hair is white .

I'm a totally normal teen .

Well , except for this born with it .

Doctors can't explain it .

Yeah .

Uh , me too .

Doctors can't explain mine either .

They say it's a , maybe a sign that I'm super talented or special or something .

I don't know .

People here hate anything that's different .

If anyone outside of my family found out I wore a wig .

I would never be allowed to cheer .

These people need to get their priorities straight , man .

There's monsters that live in your town .

How do you have the time to hate on a 14 year old with light hair ?

Aren't you worried about your babies getting eaten ?

That's my little sister , Zoe .

She really wants a dog but zombies aren't allowed to have pets .

Some people still think we'll eat them .

I think that that's a little justified .

I think , I don't know .

Don't you guys eat people ?

So now it's almost time for Zed and Addison's first day of school but not before this movie surprises you with the fact that it's a musical .

You had no fucking clue .

Did you ?

So all of the songs in this movie , suck ass , they are very forgettable , not catchy at all , but we do get a decent amount of lore in this first song .

For example , the zombies have their own language .

He just dropped that in zombies .

Didn't the power plant accident happen 50 years ago ?

When did they have time to come up with a whole language ?

Also , there are radical zombies like Zed's friend Eliza , let me introduce you to my friend Eliza will never be accepted .

Zombies need to rise up like I like this radical zombie .

She's spitting facts .

They do deserve to be treated better after all .

They are just people with green hair .

I am kind of curious as to what she means when she says rise up zombies need to rise up fight the good fight , eat the humans and all their dogs and cats and their kids .

This song ends with what might be the most tasteless scene in any dcom .

As Disney Harkens back to historic imagery of schools in the south desegregating for the first time .

You know what I'm talking about ?

We've all seen the pictures in the history books where there's the oppressed group and the oppressive group on either side of a fence and they're all singing and dancing about how this is gonna be their year .

Yeah , it's a fucking crazy scene because in case you didn't catch my sarcasm , this is not at all how desegregation went to whitewash it like it was all just people singing and dancing with a fence in between is absolutely insane .

Now , you might be thinking gross valid , but you might also be thinking , hey , everyone here is dancing and smiling about how great this year is gonna be .

It seems like all the humans are pretty stoked to have the zombies entering their school , right ?

All the humans hate the zombies , even the cheerleaders , they're just going to school like us , like us , those freaks are nothing like us .

The zombies have to take classes in the basement .

They're not even allowed up to the actual school .

And if they somehow make it up into the halls of the school , there's a zombie alarm that goes off and everyone freaks out .

So I don't even understand why this scene is in the movie where everyone is so happy .

All the humans are looking across the fence with hope in their eyes .

It doesn't even make sense in the context of the movie .

What happened between then and now spoiler alert this year is not gonna be Zed's year .

The first day of school is pretty much a disaster for Zed .

As I said , he's not allowed up into the regular school , let alone to the football tryout , but he ends up trying to sneak out to go to them anyway .

And he gets caught , ah , what ?

He ends up hiding in the very poorly designed zombie safe room .

It's a room where you're supposed to be safe from zombies .

But Zed was like , oh zombie safe room , I'll be safe in here .

Hell yeah .

And this is where he meets Addison for the first time .

Hello ?

So , since Addison can't see Zed right now , she obviously doesn't know that he's a zombie .

I will say it's still kind of a terrifying situation .

Oh , fuck .

I was worried there was gonna be a zombie in here .

Good thing .

It's just a faceless shadow figure .

Now , I don't have to be scared anymore .

My dad doesn't even think I'm gonna make the team .

What ?

No , sure you will .

You just need someone to cheer for you and soon fingers crossed .

He'll be like my job .

Ok .

Now , she's kind of flirting with the faceless shadow figure .

It's like , as long as you're not a zombie , I'm cool with you .

This is literally a scene out of like a horror movie .

I don't know why she's so comfortable being in a room with this guy she's never met before , completely engulfed in shadows .

If you were to change out the music in the scene to horror music , it would make a lot more sense .

I'm Zed .

What's her name ?

Addison ?

Nice to meet you .

And just like that .

A Romeo and Juliet ask love story starts to unfold which always begs the question .

Is this gonna end like Romeo and Juliet ?

Because if not stop doing Romeo and Juliet rip offs .

All right , if you're not gonna go all the way and make them kill themselves or each other at the end , no more , Romeo and Juliet , I want Zed to eat her at the end of this movie .

Otherwise it's no good .

Not a good love story .

I want him to eat her Kevin Jonas style .

I assume that guy was weird in that movie .

We can all agree .

My parents have always hated zombie since one bit my grandpa's ear off , but now we'll just talk your ear off .

Ok , hold on .

I get it .

I know where this movie's going .

They reference the fact that her grandpa was bit but not killed by a zombie .

And we all know what happens when you get bit by a zombie , you turn into a zombie , but maybe the grandpa was bit so little that he just turned part zombie .

And so Addison is actually a tiny percent zombie and that's why her hair is white and that's why doctors can't explain it .

And that's why nobody can explain it .

And that's also why my hair is turning white .

Nothing gets by me , man .

I figured out the twist of this movie before we're even freaking 10 minutes in Addison is immediately found by her cousin Bucky who's the captain of the cheerleading team .

He's basically like the driving force of this like whole anything different is bad in this movie .

So he finds Addison in here .

He's pissed because Addison was talking to a zombie and they escort her out of their ASAP because they have some hazing to do , hang that zombie house and you're both officially one of us .

What ?

No , we can't do that .

You look lost .

My zombie's always this harassed .

I had no idea .

Life was like this for them .

You punched him in the face .

What are you talking about ?

Are they always this harassed ?

The only time you've ever come face to face with one .

You got violent so fast .

Also , we watched you see the fence , we all saw you stare through the fence that was keeping them away from the other students .

You did the narration about the zombie apocalypse and the giant wall .

They put up at the beginning of the movie , but we built a big , you fucking liar .

You knew the next day at school , there's a pep rally that the zombies are actually invited to .

This pisses Bucky , the cheer captain off .

Big time .

Bucky again is a major zombie phobe .

So when the zombies are allowed at the pep rally , Bucky comes up with a way to embarrass them all .

I see , I see Tracy bust out the spirit sticks , bust out the spirit sticks .

That's disgusting .

Dude , there's kids here .

So apparently even though the Z band works wonders on curbing the urge to eat human flesh .

The one thing it doesn't fix is how terrified zombies are of fire is that really common zombie lore ?

I didn't know it was like a thing that all zombies and movies are scared of fire , but I guess they're really playing with that trope .

That's that classic stereotype about zombies .

So when the pep rally gets going , Bucky busts out his spirit sticks , which are basically just sparklers and boy doesn't scare the zombies .

Let everyone see them for who they really are .

Let everyone see them for who they really are , dude .

They eat people .

What a crazy plan .

You don't want to see who they really are , man .

He gets mauled by the zombies and they start like ripping him to shreds and eating his body .

I told you .

So it looks like I'm right again .

Fire sends Zed's friend into a fit of fucking rage .

Dude .

He pushes over , Zed knocks him to the ground .

Apparently that push makes Z's Z band start to malfunction and Z starts turning into an actual zombie .

He starts going freak mode at the pep rally .

Holy shit .

Oh , nice .

Look at the crowd , dude , they're going wild .

How is this a standing ovation moment ?

The zombies caused this whole thing as far as anyone knows .

And Z helped kind of , he saved one person and likely paralyzed two others .

Are we not gonna talk about those two people ?

He killed by my math .

That's a net negative .

Don't clap for that also .

Holy shit , dude .

Do not let this kid on the football team .

If his Z band malfunctions that easily , just by hitting the ground and he starts to turn into a zombie .

Do not let him play football , he's gonna eat his own team .

So this scene is absolutely bonkers and after watching it , I'm sorry , I just have to say it and I hope you'll agree .

Not only is this a bad zombie movie ?

It's also a terrible metaphor for racism .

The best metaphor for racism .

That Disney could come up with is like , what if there was a group of people that we treat it differently just because they look a little bit different and also because they could snap on a dime and eat your family .

That would be wrong .

But we do it here in America every day .

Yeah .

Wait .

So this coach sees Zed's insane display of athleticism and asks him to join the football team with a monster like monster player like you , we could turn the football team around Zed .

Remember at the slightest impact , your Z band could malfunction and you could kill people .

Do not join the football team , do not join the football team .

Do not join the football team .

Who's the zombie ?

I'm the zombie and this zombie is playing some ball .

So Zed joins the football team under the condition that as long as he keeps winning , the zombies can be integrated into the school more and more .

Once you start racking in those wins , then we'll talk about those other demands .

All right , meaning that not only is Zed on the football team , he now gets to sit in the cafeteria in good faith .

I will allow zombies to eat in the cafeteria .

In the next scene , Addison tries to go up to Zed to talk to him , flirt a little bit more , but she ends up getting dragged away by the other cheerleaders who lecture her about how it's not OK to be different .

I am not different .

Your smile is that bye .

Is one like longer than the other tuber corrective lenses .

Do you have the tallest hair anyone's ever seen ?

That would be embarrassing .

We'd hate to find out you have an absurdly different hairstyle .

We would hate to find out that sometimes when you get a good idea , you say , think , think brain blast .

Oh boy .

The school would have a field day with that one .

So Addison's not really allowed to hang out with Zed in public , which leads them to hang out in the zombie safe room where they first met , where they proceed to sing yet another forgettable very bland song .

Usually I'm down for like at least one or two songs out of every Disney channel movie that has music , but this movie has terrible music .

This song is like if you mix Love is an open door from Frozen with a knockoff chain smoker song and Yummy by Justin Bieber .

Yes .

Hey , Z that's actually not fucking funny to joke about you have eaten people .

So it's time for Zed to play in the first football game of the season .

It starts off not going very well because Z's uh band is just a normal mode .

He hasn't activated freak mode yet , but he doesn't want to lose all the new privileges that the zombies have been awarded .

So he's like shit .

What can I do ?

So he convinces Eliza who's kind of a computer nerd to hack his Z band and turn him like , halfway to a full zombie and now he's ready to rock baby .

And two is dumb luck .

Dumb luck .

Why are they surprised that Z would be strong and fast ?

Isn't that why they were afraid of zombies in the first place ?

That's their whole thing is that they're scary and strong .

Were they saying this in the midst of the zombie invasion too ?

Like somebody's kid gets eaten by a zombie and they're like dumb luck , beginner's luck .

I'd like to see you do that again and then they do it again .

He is going insane hard though .

He's punching the other players .

He's not even tackling them .

He just murders the opposing team , do teams from other towns know about the zombies because they make it seem like it's something that only happened in Seabrook , imagine how confused you'd be if you showed up for an away game at another school and they're like , all right , bring out the quarterback and this fucking freak comes out and starts doing this to people .

It would be like a horror movie , dude .

What the fuck is wrong with that guy ?

He looks sick , he broke Frank because that's doing so good at football now that the zombies are getting all sorts of privileges they actually take down the fence that we saw at the beginning of the movie Wait , who the fuck is that ?

Who was that ?

What was that ?

Guy , the guy moving the fence , one of them's a zombie because all zombies have green hair .

That guy is not a zombie .

Later in the movie , they're like , oh yeah , that was a troll .

There's humans , there's zombies , the humans hate the zombies and then there's trolls and everybody fucking hates the trolls .

All right , zombies at least have some redeeming qualities .

Trolls have none .

Trolls actually suck ass and they stink .

No justice is owed to them even .

They'll tell you that they don't deserve shit .

Football season continues to go great .

We get the classic .

Things are going well , Montage that's in every movie ever .

And then Z invites Addison to a zombie party where there is another extremely lame song .

But we do get another interesting piece of zombie lore in this song and that is that zombies are extremely bouncy , but you can't do it like that guy is just bouncing off the floor like it's nothing dude .

Oh But you can do it like that .

He's right .

I can't do that .

I can't do it like he can such a strange piece of lore to drop at this point in the movie .

The big problem is my parents won't let me cheer until they meet you .

Great .

So I'll just win them over with my quick wit and charming smile .

They don't know you're a zombie .

I'm so sorry .

I'm sorry for making things difficult for you .

No , no , you haven't done anything wrong .

Besides being you , doesn't that imply that being him is wrong ?

You haven't done anything wrong besides being you , you haven't done anything wrong , man .

You know , besides , you know , the way that you are , uh , oh , the bullies have found out that Zed is hacking a Z band to make himself more zombie , like , uh , oh , they're stealing Eliza's laptop .

Uh , oh , they're hacking the Z band .

Sorry .

Does every Disney Channel character know how to hack a computer ?

There's always a director who definitely knows how to hack computers .

But then it seems like when push comes to shove , everybody knows how to do it , it makes it a lot less impressive that like the nerdy computer girl knows how to do it when , like the cheerleader can figure it out in a matter of seconds .

Are there like computer hacking classes in every Disney Channel , original movie ?

High school ?

Oh .

Oh , they hacked all the Z bands at the football game .

The zombies are about to go full zombie .

Oh , no .

Are we about to watch somebody get murdered ?

Everybody run .

Yeah .

Oh , no .

Here , here he comes .

I kind of thought he was gonna be a little faster than that .

Sorry .

So this is what everyone was scared of the entire time .

I thought they were gonna be like , 28 days later , zombies that can sprint or like I am legend type zombies .

They are so slow .

Just leave .

How is this even remotely scary ?

In a world where cars exist , just run them over .

So the zombies get wrangled up , arrested .

This guy electrocutes them or something .

I swear to God , dude , the only thing that could make this scene worse is another bland ass song .

Oh , goddamn it , dude .

This is a bad shit climax of the movie .

This town was just terrorized by monsters .

They don't know why the zombies turned on that .

They just know that they're no longer saying people's lives were flashing before their eyes and the popular cheerleader burst into song out of nowhere to tell everybody that her hair was slightly lighter than everyone thought the song wasn't even about her at all .

It was about standing up for the zombie .

It's like she forgot what she was singing about halfway through the song .

She was like , uh , what am I standing up for again ?

Oh , yeah , that's right .

Yes , that is an appropriate reaction .

Thank you .

The ending of this movie kind of comes out of nowhere .

The cheerleading squad is performing at some kind of state or national championship and after the zombies get out of zombie jail , some of them decide to go to the championship to try to sabotage the cheer team .

But it turns out they're so bad on their own .

They don't even need to be sabotaged .

Ok .

Kind of mean this grown adult just laughing at these kids .

They're not doing well in a cheer competition .

Ok ?

Who is this ?

Guy ?

Are we supposed to know who this guy is ?

Why is he being so mean , get off the stage .

Who is that ?

Why is he so mad ?

We've never seen this character before .

Why are we focusing on his reaction so much ?

Anyways , the zombies decide , you know what ?

Let's be the bigger person .

Let's help out the cheer team .

We're gonna win over the humans by helping them perform the coolest cheer performance ever .

All right , here's the plan .

We're gonna let our freak flags fly .

Who gross ?

There's kids here that basically they perform and everyone loves it .

The crowd's going wild .

They never show that one guy again .

So maybe he's still pissed off but everyone else likes and that's pretty much the end of the movie .

Oh , you wanted to , you wanted to know why Addison's hair is white if they ever reveal that if my prediction was right ?

Yeah , they don't do that .

They never explain it at all .

They set it up to be some big reveal and then they just never talk about it .

At least not in this movie .

I have heard .

There are three of these movies and they explain it , I think in the third one .

So you got to wait a long ass time to figure out why her hair is white .

Your hair is gonna be white by the time you find out why her hair is white .

All right .

Well , that's the end .

That's the end Thank you guys for watching this video .

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Bye .