Mike Shinoda Opens Up About Losing Chester Bennington

Chester and you were the heart of Linkin Park .

You rapping and Chester singing , it was a really just a unique sound .

Mhmm .

And then to lose that connection with somebody has to blow your fucking mind .

I I can't even imagine the pain you were in .

In .

I would be angry with him .

I think there's I think there's points when that that yeah .

There's points when I felt that way .

I'm sure for other people , it was the same .

Even fans too , by the way .

And that's natural .

That's normal .

That's , like , one of the stages of grief .

Right ?

That's angers in there .

What is it like to work with someone who suffers from depression ?

Not only is it difficult for him , but at the time , you don't even understand the depths of it .

Right .

That's true .

Actually , that part is important to say too because I none of the nobody knew the depths of it .

But did it scare you ?

In other words , did you say to yourself , like , you knew ?

Time , no .

It was let me actually let let's go back to the beginning .

When I met Chester , I didn't know his stories .

As I got to know him , I would find myself oftentimes saying that's I've never heard such a crazy upbringing , like , such a crazy childhood , like , running wild , like , in the streets and and doing hard drugs on the roof of his high school , just , like , complete like , just barely staying out of jail .

And so different , and that's what made our dynamic what it was .

It's like I didn't grow like that .

I felt like I was an outsider because I was , like , a mixed race kid that didn't have , like , a community to belong to .

Like , I didn't identify with I'm half Japanese .

I didn't speak Japanese .

I don't look Japanese .

The white kids are thought I was , like , obviously not white .

The the , Latino kids were , like , starting to speak me in Spanish .

I didn't speak any like , I just didn't have it was I was always floating around and have , like , a home .

But because he had his issues , was he a difficult guy to deal with the whole time ?

Was it , like , oh , geez .

No .

No .

Not the whole time .

Early day is more difficult because we were still we didn't know how it was gonna go .

Like , on early days hybrid theory , we were still getting started , and we'd have we'd get a win here .

We'd get a loss there .

Right .

We sent the song to the radio .

They're playing it .

Oh , the show is gonna be a kind of a small show .

It's gonna be hard to get there .

You're gonna have to drive all night .

It's gonna be tough .

You're gonna be exhausted .

Oh , by the way , we all just got sick .

Like , it was hard .

And so in the midst of all of that , having a guy who would sneak out , he'd just go missing and come back obliterated , like , you couldn't even talk to him .

He's just so wasted , but also funny .

You ever see hear about that or see that episode ?

Was that Friends episode where they have the , fun Bobby ?

Yeah .

Fun Bobby .

Yeah .

Yeah .

Yeah .

Yeah .

Fun Bobby's hilarious and fun everybody loves him , and then the second he gets sober , nobody likes him anymore .

There's an element of Chester who was very fun sometimes when he was that way , and then usually the next day , it'd be , like , so dark .

You just like he has he's super hungover .

He's angry at everybody , yelling at everybody , and you're kinda just like , just let him , you know , let's get to through the day .

Did you doubt at any time that , like , oh , now Chester's gone .

Maybe I don't wanna do music anymore .

Was there any of that ?

Yeah .

No .

Of course .

100% .

100% .

It's like , for me , it just felt like too much .

Like , to to get back on it and try and do some version of music and also be seen through the lens of what had happened .

And for that to be attached , I told I it's it was like being a member of a club that I didn't wanna join .