Ellen DeGeneres' 86th Oscars Opening

Thank you very much .

Thanks so much .

Welcome to the Oscars uh for those of you watching around the world .

It has been a tough couple of days for us here .

It has been raining .

We're fine .

Thank you for your prayers .

I am happy to be back .

I hosted seven years ago and I am so honored and flattered that they have me back so quickly .

Things are so different .

Now , last time , for instance when I was here , Cate Blanchett was nominated , Meryl Streep was nominated , Leonardo Dicaprio was nominated Martin Scorsese was nominated so different .

There are some first time nominees here tonight .

June Squibb is nominated for Nebraska at 84 years old .

She is the oldest nominee .

She was wonderful in Nebraska .

I'm telling everyone that you are wonderful in Nebraska that you did was wonderful .

We have other first time nominees , Lupita Nyongo is here .

Amazing , amazing performance in 12 years , a slave .

She is from Kenya .

She is a Kenyan and Barkhad Abdi is here .

He is nominated for Captain Phillips in Somalia .

He is a Somali .

So he knows a lot about wine and that is impressive .

Who's the wine captain now who's the wine captain .

Now , the real Captain Phillips is here tonight and the real Philomena is here tonight .

And , and I have to say one of the most amazing Liza Minnelli impersonators I have ever seen in my entire life .

Just really seriously good job , sir .

I mean that is really , that's oh , better off tonight's theme is heroes in Hollywood and we need heroes now , more than ever , people around the world are going through hard times and movies offer us an escape .

Movies inspire us .

I'm not saying that movies are the most important thing in the world because we all know that the most important thing in the world is youth .

Now , we know that the most important thing in life is love and friendship and family .

And if people don't have those things , well , then they usually get into show business here .

We all , we're one big frightened family is what we are .

But I want you to know that I love you and I think you're talented .

I do and I think you should think of yourselves as winners , not all of you , but the people who have won before should think of yourself as runners .

And I know what you're thinking , Ellen .

That's easy for you to say you've been chosen to host and that's sort of the highest award there is .

Thank you .

Thank you .

Let's try to focus on you tonight if we can seriously , the work that you've done is incredible .

And I did a little bit of research and between all of the nominees here tonight , you've made over 1400 films , 1400 films .

And you've gone to a total of six years of college .

I'm kidding .

Kids .

Stay in school .

I'm sure these people went to college .

I mean , Amy Adams .

You went to college , right ?

No .

Ok .

Well , that , who cares ?

You're an amazing actress .

You're no , not one but two nominated films tonight you are in .

That's just , that is .

So what is the word for it ?

Selfish .

I guess .

I really do think it's an exceptional year for movies .

Of course , one of the nominees is her and by her , I mean , Meryl Streep .

Merrill has been nominated for an Oscar a total of 18 times .

It sounds good .

But if you do the math between dresses , hair and makeup , that's hundreds of thousands of dollars .

Simply put Merrill cannot afford to be nominated again .

That is a lot of money .

I'm listing all these people like you're up against each other and you're also talented .

I don't want you to think of any kind of a competition .

It's a celebration .

Who are we kidding ?

It's the Hunger Games .

I mean , there are cameras everywhere .

You're starving .

Jennifer Lawrence won last year .

It is the Hunger Games , Jennifer .

By the way , I am not gonna bring up what happened last year when you were , you know , it's ridiculous .

I mean , something like that happens and it's embarrassing and then people just talk about it and it's just , you know , for those of you who don't know what I'm talking about last year , she fell on the way up , tripped .

I don't know if she got caught on the tip of the dress .

Let's just show the clip because what happened ?

I'm kidding .

I'm not going to show the question .

I'm kidding .

I am , I , I'm not , I'm not .

But let's just , and you know the thing when you fell out of the car tonight , when you were getting out of the car , no one needs to know that I am not going to mention that she fell on the way out of the car like on an orange cone .

You tripped or something .

If you win tonight , I think we should bring you the Oscar .

I don't want to risk .

I need somebody .

We can do that right ?

Can we do that ?

No one's here , win or lose .

You look beautiful .

You all look beautiful tonight , Sandy , you look beautiful and Kate , you look , everybody looks beautiful .

I'm not going to say who looks the most beautiful but it's clear .

It's Jared Leto .

I mean he's the boy is he pretty ?

I mean he's uh nominated for best supporting actor and Matthew mcconaughey also pretty , by the way , but a different , like a rugged , dirty , a dirty , pretty , like a rugged .

No good , dirty , not bad , dirty .

Both nominated for Dallas buyers club , a very important movie .

It deals with the serious issue of people who have sex at rodeos .

Don't do it .

It looks appealing , but , oh , speaking of sex at the rodeos , Bruce Dern is here tonight .

I had , I just needed a transition .

I have no idea .

A little background on Bruce .

His grandfather was the governor of Utah .

His great uncle was a Pulitzer Prize winning poet and his godmother was Eleanor Roosevelt .

And here you are among us tonight .

What went wrong ?

Jonah Hill is nominated for his amazing performance in Wolf of Wall Street .

I honestly , I have to say you showed us something in that film that I have not seen for a very , very long time .

Well , we should get started .

It's going to be an exciting night .

Anything can happen .

So many different possibilities .

Possibility .

Number 1 , 12 years , a slave wins best picture .

Possibility .

Number two , you're all Racists .