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Jupiter Mars come , boys , come , come .
Right .
Oh my good boys , my brave boys .
You seem to be well fed .
I thank you for that .
I'm afraid I uh I don't know your name .
I'm a colonel with the continental army .
My rank should be sufficient for now as you wish , please be seated .
Thank you .
Would you as the initiating officer care to begin , I will unless of course you'd like to claim a grieved status .
Yes , I would like to claim a grieved status .
Very well , sir .
Proceed .
You have in your possession , certain belongings of mine , including uh clothing , furniture , personal effects of a non-military nature , which um , which I'd like to have returned to me .
Indeed , I will do so as soon as possible .
Thank you .
Now , we come to the matter of the specific targeting of officers during engagements .
You must know that in civilized warfare officers in the field must not be accorded in appropriate levels of hostile attention to your mind .
What are appropriate levels of hostile attention ?
Oh , colonel , imagine the utter chaos that would follow from leaderless armies having at each other .
There must be gentlemen in command to lead and and , and where necessary restrain their , restrain them from say , targeting civilians , women , Children and such .
That's a separate issue .
No , no , no .
I consider them linked .
And as long as your soldiers attack civilians , I will order the shooting of officers at the outset of every engagement .
And my men are excellent marksmen .
Very well .
No , let us move on to prisoner exchange .
Sir .
You have 18 of my men .
I want them back .
What ?
But I , I do have 18 criminals under sentence of death , but I , I hold no prisoners of war .
If that's your position , 18 of your officers will have to die .
19 .
If you hang me with my men , my offices , sir , top of the ridge to your left just below the tree line , their names and ranks , they refuse to give me their names .
But their ranks are nine lieutenants , five captains , three majors and one very fat colonel who called me a cheeky fellow .
You know , this is not the conduct of a gentleman .
If the conduct of your officers is the measure of a gentleman , I'll take that as a compliment .
Get my men .
Arrange the exchange .
What ?
Thank you , sir .