Well , today , I'm not just going to help you understand and improve your communication skills .
Rather , I'm going to debunk some of the myths in it .
Let me take you to one of my sessions .
So what happened once I asked all the students in the session that what is the biggest problem you face in your communication skills .
And not to my surprise answers were um I make a lot of grammatical mistakes .
I have mt I issue , I have pronunciation problem .
I don't understand the right vocabulary .
I forget vocabulary , appropriate vocabulary to use or in general , I speak broken English .
And I believe right now you two are thinking more or less the same answer .
But what if I tell you these are not going to create a big problem in your communication .
It doesn't mean that you don't have to walk up on it , but these are not the problem in communication skills .
Well , the biggest problem in communication skills is miscommunication .
We all miscommunicate day in day out , we miscommunicate every time we talk to people .
So I'm not telling you that I don't miscommunicate , but I at least try not to miscommunicate .
So let me tell you the myths .
As I told you at the beginning , survey was conducted over communication skills .
An astonishing result of the survey says on an average 80% of our talk is a misunderstood .
So 80% of your talk , my talk or our talk is misunderstood by the listener .
Why it happens .
There are multiple reasons of it .
Number one preconceived notion , most of us in most of the contextual talk , we already have preconceived notion about the person or about the people .
They're gonna take it this way .
The person's character is like that person always thinks like this .
So whatsoever it is , you always have a preconceived notion as a result , not just 80% sometimes 95% of the talk is misunderstood .
Second reason of miscommunication , verbal communication , not being backed up by a non verbal communication to be precise .
You say something else and your body language says something else or your tone says all together something else .
Think of it when a mother is beating her kids , you know , or one kid she's beating , which suggests she's angry at the same time .
She's chuckling , she's smiling or she's making funny comments .
Now there are two messages , two messages she's giving her kid .
Olly , that kid will never be afraid of mother .
So that's a problem in communication of ours as well .
We say something else and we something else .
Problem number third , that helps you miscommunicate .
Well , you see some of us do not give importance to courtesy .
Well , courtesy is the most important element in your communication skills .
If you don't take care of courtesy as a result , people see you as a rude person .
Well , we have talked about ways to miscommunicate .
Now let's understand how to avoid miscommunication and how to communicate well and how to make sure whatsoever I wish to speak is going across the listener , right ?
So solution number first , be courteous .
Now how to be courteous .
Um a very basic example , instead of asking somebody fetch me a glass of water , you can simply say , could you please bring me a glass of water ?
You see the tone is different , the word is different and that creates all the difference .
Now , when the person is going to fetch me , a glass of water might abuse me at least in mind .
And when I'm asking a person , could you please bring me a glass of water ?
Person would feel ?
All right .
It's fine .
No big deal .
It's just a glass of water .
I'm supposed to fetch for her , right ?
Well , solution number second to avoid miscommunication , always ask question for the clarity for the clarification .
If I'm listening to somebody and I'm not understanding something or if I'm misunderstanding something , I would simply ask , are you trying to say this or if I'm a speaker , I would always ask , did you get me ?
Are we I mean , are you following me ?
So such questions will always and always help you miscommunicate less because you see miscommunication will happen .
But there are certain things which is , which are always there in your hand .
So avoid them .
Solution number third , always and always summarize it .
There are two ways paraphrasing and rephrasing .
Rephrasing occurs when I'm a speaker .
I'm not sure whether the person is getting everything , whatever I wish to convey or not .
So I'll paraphrase all the time .
I won't be stubborn to just speak it in one way and be confident , right ?
They must have got it .
I'll rephrase it and when I'm a listener , I'll paraphrase it to confirm .
So I would paraphrase whatever the speaker said and I would say , oh , you know , so what I understood about this particular context is uh this , this , this , this , so am I right ?
And that always works wonderfully .
At least you'll be sure of what you're getting is the same , what speaker you know , is trying to convey you and whatever you are saying , your listener is getting the same .
So these were three amazing ways to avoid miscommunication and master better communication .